Welcome to “Two Dopes Two Nopes,” where we highlight cool things (things that are dope) and not-so-cool things (nope) across style, culture, and art. Let’s jam.
In 2012, a group of scientists discovered that a cluster of olfactory receptor genes, called OR6A2, are the receptors that cause some people to dislike cilantro. To this group of people, cilantro tastes like soap. It's terrible. They can't touch the stuff.
In 2023, the MGRS team made a similar discovery: that the American rock band Grateful Dead is also terrible.
What is the connection? Well, Cilantro and the Grateful Dead are the same. Both phenomena must be related to genetics, because so many people love this band. We know these people. Some of them are friends. They are hardworking folk that that dress well and say insightful things and have promising careers. So the only explanation is that our jam-band OR6A2 receptors aren't firing. We just don't get it...
The melodies, the lyrics, their voices, the "wah-wah" of the guitars -- the best way to put it, is that Grateful Dead doesn't sound good when it goes into my ears. Their music sounds like soap tastes. #bornthisway
Nowadays it is common to see dudes wearing low rise pants, or wearing pants too low on their hips. It's also unfortunate, for a few reasons:
Fortunately there are easy fixes. First, pull your waistline up to or above your hips, as most guys assume their hips are lower than they actually are. Second, buy mid-to-high rise pants (mid rise is between 9-11 inches, and most companies will tell you the rise specs in the product description. Dress pants almost always have a higher rise). If your tuck isn't feeling right, a low rise pant is the most likely culprit.
Check out Spotify's "Today's Top Hits" playlist and every song gets right into the verse (we played all 50, "I have spare time..." Tommy Boy). On Taylor Swift's album Midnights, she starts singing before the 20-second mark on every track. Same with 99% of country music. Maybe it's the rise of social media and shorter attention spans or maybe it's human nature, but people want their songs and WANT THEM NOW!
And while we love T-Swift and country music, sometimes it's beneficial to take it slow. Let the beat build. Like at a Boston Bruins game when the lights are off, the crowd is pumping, and the players are ready to hit the ice. See below for long some intros that we're getting into lately. **These songs are meant to be played loud. Preferably in the car. "If it's too loud, you're too old."
1. "Anthem Part Two" by Blink-182.
"Mutt" almost made the list. Simpler times.
2. "Victory" Puff Daddy & The Family feat. The Notorious B.I.G. & Busta Rhymes
You could argue that Diddy's rap is NOT an intro, but it is. The strings come in at 0:20, horns section at 0:30, and Biggie at 0:52. B.I.G. recorded his verse the day before he was killed. Diddy also spent $2.7m on the music video. What a time.
3. "Right Now" by Van Halen.
F***king classic.
4. "Right Above it" Lil' Wayne feat. Drake
The shortest intro on the list at 0:27. (*muffled voice*) "Kane is in the building..." Banger.
5. "Heat Above" Greta van Fleet
My buddy opened for Greta van Fleet and Metallica last year (shout out to Spence and Ice Nine Kills) -- they were awesome. They'll make you like Led Zeppelin even if you don't like Led Zeppelin.
People say that being a parent is life's greatest gift. MGRS suggests 79% of this feeling can be attributed to your kids' leftover food. For years, we felt pressure to say "umm, I'll have the risotto," "hmm, may I have the steak frites?" or "oh jeez, well the salmon sure does look good..."
I was lying. Lying to everyone at every table in every restaurant and lying to myself. Society tells us to grow up and become serious adults, but secretly we all long to order off the kids' menu.
Burgers, fries, pizza, grilled cheese, tendies, mac & cheese. One MGRS employee ate (conservatively) 900 cut-off peanut butter and jelly crusts in the last 24 months. Being a dad is a MF'ing gold mine.
People also say that children will "keep you young," and this opinion has been tested. Researchers in Guatemala found that the more children a mother has, the longer her telomeres (the protective ends of our DNA), and telomere shortening is directly linked to aging. But...did the researchers account for the leftovers? No, of course they didn't, because of lazy science (thanks Fauci). More kids equals more grilled cheese, and a positive correlation to a longer, happier life.
If you're enjoying the blog, we'd be pumped if you tell your friends.
Have a great week, my friends, and #KeepItTucked
]]>
Welcome to “Two Dopes Two Nopes,” where we highlight the cool things (things that are dope) and the not-so-cool things (nope) across style, culture, and art. Let’s jam.
Adulthood can feel like a drag. Responsibility, work, stress – and the increasing number of carboard boxes arriving at your door. Thanks to Jeff Bezos I now run a full-time recycling center from my home. So here's a little mindset shift, a 'life hack' if you will, that will turn a mundane chore into your favorite pastime: imagine that you are Tommy Lee Jones from “The Hunted” (1995) whenever you flatten or break down your packages.
"One, two, three, power assist four, five, six."
First, choose your weapon. Exacto knife, pocket knife, screwdriver, scissors, whatever is closest. Be resourceful. Be precise. Then, let it f***in' RIP. Who needs meditation and mindfulness when you can finish boxes like Jason Bourne? With proper training, you can defeat one box per 1.5 seconds.
Now that you've been initiated into the ecommerce-warrior tribe, I leave you with words from Tommy Lee:
"I will teach you how to kill. Quickly. Accurately. Efficiently. It will become a reflex action. You will learn how to enter a combat zone and evaporate into shadow. You will learn how to survive...or you will not."
Welcome to the program.
The shirt of the summer. Feels like a broken-in T-shirt, looks like a button-down, and is made with soft cotton material that drapes perfectly. The relaxed/straight fit is flattering on body any type, even if you have the dimensions of a garbage can, like me. Versatile and laid-back.
Although the Seasons Shirt is premium-priced at $138, the knit construction and detail hold up really well, wash-after-wash. When buying expensive stuff, our motto is "Buy Good Things. Own Them a Long Time."
So ditch the polyester golf shirt this summer for some clean, easy style.
**Side Note**
Mike Faherty, Founder and Chief Creative Officer of Faherty, is an awesome dude. When I started MGRS, I reached out to companies for advice because I had (and have) no idea what I'm doing. Mike spoke with me for almost an hour, connected me with designers and manufacturers, and we traded a dozen emails. For a busy guy who runs a successful, family-owned operation, he gave freely of his time, experience, and insight. Very chill, and just an all-around great guy. Big fan for life.
Walk into any group exercise class -- F45, Barry's Bootcamp, Orange Theory, etc. -- and you'll find at least one 'Turbo.' He doesn't follow directions, he does extra work during the breaks, and he'll tell you "that was easy." JUST DO THE FREAKING WORKOUT YOU BUM. Unless you're pregnant or you're injured (you should probably rest), follow the directions like everyone else.
I saw one guy wrap a towel around his neck and walk his feet up and down the wall, spiderman-parkour-style, while everyone else was doing crunches. Cool it buddy. No one is impressed. It's exercise. We're all washed-up.
And for those of you Crossfit-ers and Gold's Gym-goers criticizing group workout classes, well you're a Turbo, too.
I feel like gratitude has had it's day. Nothing against it, as a concept, because gratitude is a key ingredient for long-term happiness. Maybe it's the prevalence of gratitude on social media, but we are constantly reminded of it, with phrases such as "feeling blessed," "grateful for my___," "how lucky are we?" And too much of a good thing can be, well, not good.
There's no denying it's a nice sentiment. But maybe we keep gratitude on the inside, sometimes? When my two-year-old and 3.5-year-old are screaming and crying at breakfast, I don't feel grateful. I feel angry. Maybe it's me? Maybe I'm the "nope"?....
Have a great weekend everyone. Thanks for all your support. Pumped to release some new stuff soon.
#grateful
]]>
Golfer: How do you know that prayers don't work?
Larry David: Because I’m bald.
- Curb Your Enthusiasm
The world is going bald. Yes, that means you. Don’t believe us? Ok, let’s crunch the numbers. The American Hair Loss Association estimates that:
As Agent Smith says in The Matrix, “that is the sound of inevitability...”
The main problem with baldness is that, well, there are no positives. None. “I may be losing my hair but at least ___.” See? Nothing. The negative effects, however, are well-known: lower perceived attractiveness, less self-esteem, higher sunscreen usage. There is also Hair Loss Distress, a psychological condition that includes “the feeling of looking old and unattractive and the fear of social rejection”. Social rejection? My God, where does this end!?
It ends today, friends. After years of traveling and studying ancient texts, we sought guidance from the most legendary group of bald men on the planet: the Zen Buddhist Monks. We distilled their teachings into four lessons in order to turn tragedy into triumph, negative into positive, and limit the mental toll of this terrible, horrible condition (dare we call it the real pandemic?). Let’s jam.
Kensho is a Japanese Zen term translated as “seeing one’s true nature,” and is described as an initial insight or awakening – a “flash” or “pop” of deep understanding. Recognizing a Kensho moment is critical. Otherwise, you will deny your baldness and “denial can be an ugly thinggg” (Ace Ventura 2).
Denial leads to negative outcomes, such as 'the combover.' What about hair transplants? These procedures don’t stop hair loss, so you're committing to more surgery and more money in the future. What about prescription or over the counter medicine? If you're cool with the side effects, then good luck bro!
But if we simply open our eyes to what's around us – a gust of wind revealing a receding hairline, a bad haircut, your friends constantly ripping on you – we can avoid these trappings. Acceptance allows us to move forward in our Spiritual Balding Journey (SBJ) and live freely. As Lao Tzu says, “when you realize nothing is lacking, the whole world belongs to you.” Righteous.
Zen Buddhism promotes balance and harmony in all things. Balance between faith and wisdom, effort and concentration, and most importantly, hair.
So if you decide to shave your head, grow a beard or leave some stubble. Facial hair provides balance to your bare head, which otherwise will appear too smooth (*Note: this lesson mostly applies to fair-skinned dudes. For example, the late-great Kobe Bryant. Completely shaven, still a handsome guy).
When combined with a light complexion, the bald face-head-combo can be absolutely devasting. This is especially true outdoors, where you'll become a beacon of reflective light like Milla Jovavich’s character at the end of The Fifth Element. Indoors, you'll look like a worm.
Let's also not forget Lex Luthor, Baron Von Harkonnen in Dune, and Dr. Evil. All completely hairless and made to look…you guessed it…EVIL. Mr. Clean is the only person to have pulled off this look but unfortunately he is fictional. And a cartoon. He IS jacked, though, and we knew an NCO from Ranger Regiment that also wore this look and wore it well. So there is nuance. Great guy. RLTW.
In keeping with this idea of balance, don't grow a massive beard with a bald head, either. There are only four exceptions to this rule and they apply to the following people: members of a motorcycle gang, semi-professional arm-wrestlers, henchmen in the John Wick franchise, and NFL coach Lovie Smith.
Balance. Harmony. This is the Zen tradition. This is the way.
Walk into any Buddhist monastery or dojo and you'll see the same thing: extreme minimalism. The monks believe that suffering should not be defined by the things we do not possess, as true happiness is not derived from material possessions. For this same reason, they instruct us to keep our hairstyles short when faced with balding or thinning hair.
Why, exactly? Short hair minimizes the appearance of thinning/balding and also gives your hair some lift which makes it look like you have more hair. Long hair does the opposite. Bernie Madoff (RIP) rocked the long-hair-bald style and we all know how that ended up. To be fair, that guy had massive balls to do what he did, so he wasn't lacking confidence.
A bald-denier (Bernie, left) being arrested by bald guys (right). Karmic justice.
Sangha is a Sanskrit word meaning "assembly" or "collection," but also represents the entire Buddhist community. It's a beautiful thing. People coming together from all over the world through a shared belief system.
And we can apply Sangha to the bald community. We don't have to live in shame, or isolation, longing for the hair we don't have. Shared adversity and values should bring us together! It's insane that Jeep Wrangler drivers acknowledge each other on the road, but bald men don't fist bump or head nod as they pass each other on the street.
Be on the lookout for your bald brothers. Build a tribe. The best art comes from hardship and oppression. Bald paintings in the Louvre. Bald music. Bald movies.
We hope you found these lessons helpful. We don't know much about Zen Buddhism, but we know plenty about being bald. And we made nine different movie references in this article, which is dope.
#KeepItTucked